So, today I applied to be Men’s Health’s next Girl Next Door (theirs is abandoning them to offer unrealistoc sex advice in Cosmo).

I sent a couple clips and a pic with plenty of clavicle, and within fifteen minutes I had this response from their senior editor:

“Thanks for reaching out. Loved the posts - it’s hilarious that they let you lush out like that - but I’m afraid you’re not quite a fit for GND.”

Not “awesome” or even “progressive,” just “hilarious.”

I think he thinks I’m a drunk.